Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So many bounce houses so little time
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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