I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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