I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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