if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
