roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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