Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
