No stitches, just platelets and will power
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
