i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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