I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
