I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
