woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
