six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
