please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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