He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she looked like the before picture.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
