You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
