Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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