hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
