ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish i was in the wii world.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
