We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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