i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
