You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
