Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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