No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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