He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
