if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
