Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
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