do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
