i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
