Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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