In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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