She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
