Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she looked like the before picture.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
