OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
