He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
