I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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