I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
