Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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