This girl is more easily done than said...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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