I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
