How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
