I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
