worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
