I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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