this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
