Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
