Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
