so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
