No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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