Dual....:-)
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
