Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
