i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
