I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
