I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
