i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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