in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
