I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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