I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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